A guy goes into a bar, there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What-ull you have?”
The guy says, “Martini.”
The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “168.”
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious so he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, “What-ull you have?”
The guy says, “Martini.”
Again, the robot makes a great martini gives it to the man and says, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “100.”
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time..
He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What-ull you have?”
The guy says, “Martini,” and the robot brings him another great martini.
The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “Uh, about 50..”
The robot leans in real close and says, “So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?”
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
LETTERS: Is it the thing of Past
There was a time, not too long ago, when you and I used to write letters. I remember a sweet childhood poem and it went something like:
‘I sent a letter to my father
On the way I dropped it,
Somebody came and picked it up
And put it in his pocket.’
I honestly don’t think I can blame ‘somebody’ for stealing my letter for I haven’t written a traditional one in at least a decade, and there are so many acceptable reasons for it.
I recently found an old letter I had written to my father some 13 years ago; it was thoughtful, original and personal, so diametrically different from an email. Let me insist that the implication is certainly not that email is not an extraordinarily fantastic method of communication but simply, it can never be a cherished letter.
Old letters, old cards, little old notes are charming, and when you stumble upon one unexpectedly it brings memories of lost times and sentimental moments in an almost tangible way. I can most certainly admit to sitting with an old shoebox reading old letters and cards and rediscovering delight in much the same way as I did upon receiving them initially.
On my previous visit to Pakistan, I was gifted a box full of letters that belonged to my father. It was precious to say the least. I read a few letters instantly and learnt a few valuable family history lessons that afternoon which would otherwise have been eclipsed by time.
I discovered that at the time of Partition, my six-year-old father was accidentally left behind while the family began their march for migration. His nana discovered that the head count was less one and walked back several miles to pick up the little lad who was fearfully hiding under a bed. The ink on the letter smudged as my heart became heavy with the thought of a lost little boy and his bahadur nana, my great grandfather. Until that day nanajee was just a name on the Shijra but now, he is the reason I exist.
Remember a time when our ancestors, and we, were writing letters to stay in touch – there was pen and paper and some meaningful thought, unlike the direct method of Q and A and information passing we engage in today. There is cc, bcc, text messages, Twitter, and Facebook and thus the art of letter writing has gradually worn away. The truth is that even with all this technology and the message being delivered instantly, we do not have an extra moment to indulge in niceties. We may have the courtesy to ask, ‘how are you?’ but do not have the patience to wait for a reply. I reckon we could easily blame the dying art on a cultural shift, but remember instant messaging is here today gone tomorrow. I somehow cannot picture our children sitting with our old computers and cell phones and getting sentimental over nanajee’s valour.
There is a sea of information out there – how do you sift through it and find and believe what you are looking for? If looking for a penpal, one just goes onto a search engine looking for a chat, unlike the yesteryears when we actually had pals who were our friends because of the pen.
I cherished sharing letters with Amy from Alabama. I was a ten-year-old in Pakistan and she in the US, and it was awesome! I used to wait for Latif, our postman, to bring me a letter from Amy at least once a month, and then there was Rimmy Apa who always indulged me and wrote beautiful long letters to me. I was inspired by her intelligence, impressed by her beauty and even developed a little bit of an attitude because an older cousin seemed to show an interest in me.
We miss composing and receiving letters maybe because they remind us of a time that was simple and pleasant, but I also believe that the fondness and joy comes from the imagery and emotion that letters carry – something akin to a time capsule.
Writing letters gives our emotions relevance; it makes us no intellectuals but certainly lends us the opportunity to put on paper our fundamental self, and certainly is a wonderful and ‘now’ unique style of showing appreciation and affection in a crazy world. And as for receiving a letter, well, it is almost like having a dear friend stop by for a cup of chai unexpectedly.
Friday, 15 April 2011
Solar System: Planet Facts
• The Sun makes up 99.86 per cent of the Solar System’s mass! That means if all the planets were put together (including Jupiter) as well as all the asteroids it will only make up about 0.14 per cent of the Solar System’s mass.
• Jupiter’s magnetic field is so massive that it pours billions of Watts into Earth’s magnetic field everyday!
• A massive body 100km wide travelling at over 512,000km/h crashed into Mercury to form the Caloris Basin. The impact
was so great that it sent shockwaves round Mercury creating its hilly lineated terrain.
• The length of a plutonian year is 248 of our years! That means that one orbit of the Sun takes about two and a half Earth
centuries. That’s a quarter of a millennium!
• The Olympus Mons (on Mars) is the largest Volcanic Mountain on the planet Mars and the tallest known volcano in the Solar
System. It is 600km across and 27km high, which is three times as tall as the Mount Everest.
• A supernova explosion produces more energy in its first ten seconds than the Sun during the whole of its 10 billion years’
lifetime.
• The comet with the longest ever recorded tail is the Great Comet of 1843. Its tail stretched over 800 million kilometres! This is about the same distance the Earth is from Jupiter!
• The energy in the sunlight we see today started out from the core of the Sun 30,000 years ago — it spent most of this time passing through the dense atoms that make the sun and just eight minutes to reach us once it had left the Sun!
• Almost all of the heavier elements in your body (for example, calcium, iron, carbon) were made somewhere in supernovae
explosions!
• Saturn has such a low density that it would float if put in water!
• Some volcanoes on Jupiter’s moon ‘Io’ eject material at speeds of up to 1km per second! This is about 20 times faster than
the volcanoes here on Earth can manage it!
• The winds on Neptune reach at least 2,100km per hour and are capable of ripping buildings into shreds. Considering the strongest hurricanes, such as Hurricane Andrew, which only had winds exceeding 251km per hour, Neptune’s winds are
incredibly powerful. Scientists are not certain how the planet’s winds can be that fast, but some believe it is due to a
combination of frigid temperatures and Neptune’s atmosphere.
LOLZ: Some common Excuses
Sorry ma’am, my sister’s/cousin’s wedding kept me engaged so I could not complete my assignment. Please, just give me one more day to finish it.”
This is one of the reasons given at school when students do not come up with their assigned task on the fixed day.
Making up excuses is an easy way to escape the wrath of teachers. Students try to cover up their inadequacy with different
justifications, which can vary from “I was sick” to “There was no light in our house”.
Often teachers are wise enough to realise which excuses are genuine and which have been made up on the spur of the moment to get out of trouble. Some excuses don’t work because they are too unbelievable and the person giving them just doesn’t sound convincing enough.
Sickness is one of the most common, oldest and universally used excuses, favoured by people of all ages. Besides being sick on the ‘sick days’, after availing the leave or before it students try to show how sick they are and try to perform everything slowly, appear very dull and down, so that teachers believe them.
Family functions are another much-favoured excuses that keep children so busy that homework takes a backseat. What can you do if there are birthdays, parties, get-togethers, weddings, etc., taking place almost every week? A teacher has to understand the importance of all these occasions, after all, it’s all about family!
While many a times this actually happens and hampers a child from learning for a test or completing an assignment on time, children relay on this excuse even when they were playing video games instead of studying.
Load-shedding is a genuine excuse that no one can disbelieve. Everyone knows that the rampant outage of electricity is at its peak due to which not only students but also businesses have been affected. So even if you have a UPS or generator at home, your teacher doesn’t know it….
Why is it that every time you are so close to finishing your project only then this particular bug enters your computer and corrupts your files. If not the internet, then it has to be the PC which is the culprit that ruins your ‘hard work’.
Last, but not the least among the common excuses by students is, “I forgot to bring my project”. And guess what? On the D-day, your teacher glares at you, and when your meek expression won’t work, think about something better to explain to your parents when they see a big ‘F’ in the report card!
Riddles
1. At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?
*****
2. The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
*****
3. What has a head, a tail, which is brown, and has no legs?
*****
4. I am always hungry, I must always be fed.
The finger I touch, will soon turn red.
*****
5. I give you a group of three. One is sitting down, and will never get up. The second eats as much as is given to it, yet is always
hungry. The third goes away and never returns.
*****
6. Until I am measured, I am not known.
Yet, how you miss me, when I have flown.
*****
7. I drive men mad for love of me,
Easily beaten, never free.
*****
8. Two in a corner, one in a room.
0 in a house, but one in a shelter. What am I?
*****
9. Kings and queens may cling to power, and the jester’s got his call
But, as you may all discover, the common one outranks them all
*****
10. Say my name and I disappear. What am I?
*****
11. Three brothers share a family sport, a non-stop marathon The oldest one is fat and short and trudges slowly on.
The middle brother is tall and slim and keeps a steady pace.
The youngest runs just like the wind, speeding through the race.
“He’s young in years, we let him run,” the other brothers say,
“Though he’s surely number one, he’s second, in a way”.
Answer:
1. The stars
2. Darkness
3. A penny
4: Fire
5. Stove, fire, smoke
6. Time
7. Gold
8. The letter ‘r’
9. An ace (in a deck of cards)
10. Silence
11. The hands on a clock (hour, minute, second).
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
The Biggest Top Secrets Ever...Revealed NOW....!!! Top 10 Facts All World Must Know Now......!!!
1. The United States individual (personal) income taxes go directly to the Bank of England, City of London, which is wholly owned and controlled by the family Rothschild.
2. The United States Federal Reserve Bank is NOT a U.S. government institution.
3. The Federal Reserve is a PRIVATE bank, which is wholly owned and controlled by the family Rothschild.
4. The Federal Reserve was established in 1913 illegally, when the Rothschild’s lieutenant, U.S. Senator Nelson Aldrich, forced through a Congressional bill that mandated it.
5. The family Rothschild is directly responsible for starting all major, and many minor, wars over the past 230 years.
Rothschild Coat of Arms
6. The family Rothschild is directly responsible for every recession and depression in the United States over the past 210 years.
7. The family Rothschild (The First Sphere of Influence) controls all major banking throughout the entire world, and has the power to bankrupt entire countries.
Nelson W Aldrich
8. Thomas Jefferson fought vehemently against Alexander Hamilton to ensure that the newly created United States would NOT fall under the control of the Rothschilds. Jefferson said that the Rothschilds were a greater threat to our country than any standing army.
9. Andrew Jackson also fought to thwart all the efforts of the Rothschilds, and was able to do so during his term. When his term was up, the Rothschilds installed their own U.S. president and then, in a retaliatory measure, plunged America into its first depression.
10. The Rothschilds have assassinated four U.S. presidents, who refused to toe the Rothschild line, and are thought to have murdered others, although the evidence for the latter is as yet inconclusive.
11. The Internal Revenue Service is a private corporation, licensed by the Fed as a collection agency.
12. BONUS FACT #1: the Rothschilds are wholly responsible for the deaths and murders and assassinations of tens of millions of human beings worldwide.
13. BONUS FACT #2: The Rothschild henchmen are Zbigniew Brzezinski and his sons. Forget Kissinger; he’s an idiot.
14. BONUS FACT # 3: These Illuminati Race started from Jesus/ Essa (A.S) resurrection day, when Jew's released the prisoner, whose left eye was damaged and imprisoned Hazrat Essa (A.S) and the story
continues .......................!
Alexander Hamilton
Source : The passion of Christ ( Book and The Movie )
The Anti-Christ (Dajjal) in Original Bible verses ;
Matthew 24:3 As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. "Tell us," they said, "when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?" Jesus answered: "Watch out that noone deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many. Matthew 24:23 And if anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' or, 'There he is!' do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and miracles to deceive even the elect-if that were possible. See, I have told you ahead of time.
Luke 21:27 Then everyone will see the Son of Man arrive on the clouds with power and great glory.
Matthew 24:3, Matthew 24:23, Matthew 24:26, Luke 21:7, Luke 21:24, Mark 13:21, 1 John 2:18, 1 John 2:22, 1 John 2:26, 1 John 4:1, Matthew 7:15, 2 Corinthian 11:4, 2 Corinthians 11:13, Galatians 2:4, 2 Thessalonian 2:1, Revelation 13:1
No Doubt Surah Al Imran 3:54 : And they (disbelievers) plotted [to kill Iesa (Jesus)], and Allah planned too. And Allah is the Best of the planners.
References to the story;
http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/industry_sectors/natural_resources/article6945950.ece
Thanx to Salah Ud Din Ayubbii
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Biggest Version of Boeing 747-8
The Boeing 747-8 Intercontinental taxis down the runway before its maiden flight from Paine Field, Washington. The plane can seat 467 passengers, 51 more than the latest model of the classic 747, and burn less fuel while offering passengers more comfort.
NEW YORK: The biggest version yet of Boeing’s iconic 747 could soon be flying into airports that have never seen aircraft that large, raising hackles among some airport neighbors.
Medium-size airports in Toledo, Ohio; Rockford, Illinois, and Huntsville, Alabama, are among those asking the Federal Aviation Administration for approval to receive the massive 747-8 freighter. Boeing expects to deliver the first planes to customers later this year.
The airports are eager to grab a share of the air cargo market, which is growing faster than passenger traffic as the economy recovers. But some residents feel threatened by the big cargo planes currently flying over their homes and doubt Boeing’s claims that the new 747 won’t be as noisy.
”When the planes come over, you just want to duck,” said Mary Rose Evans, president of the Airport Neighbors Alliance in suburban Louisville. Evans said her house is just 500 feet (150 meters) below the flight path of incoming cargo planes.
The 747-8 is the biggest airplane Boeing has built, with a wingspan 11 feet wider and a body 18 feet longer than the current 747-400 model. Despite its size, Boeing says the 747-8 will be 30 per cent quieter.
The 747-8 is now in testing. It’s in the same new size category as the superjumbo Airbus 380. But while the A380 comes exclusively in a passenger version and flies only out of big international hubs like New York, the 747-8 has attracted the attention of cargo companies that intend to fly into lesser-known airfields.
For airports, cargo is big business. Air freight rose 10 per cent between 2009 and 2010, from 20.7 million tons to 22.9 million. Growth in cargo far outstripped passenger service, which rose only 2 per cent during the same period, from 767 million travelers to 782 million.
Getting approval for the 747-8 could woo more of that traffic, said Paul Toth, chief executive officer of the Toledo-Lucas County Port Authority, which operates the Toledo Express Airport.
”When it comes to smaller airports, we think this kind of gives us a leg up,” said Toth said.
But residents have fought airport expansion in courts in Toledo, Louisville, Indianapolis and other cities. Some worry about the damage a large freighter could cause if it crashes.
”Any mention of more planes or larger planes is a concern to us,” said Brenda Jay, a resident in suburban Indianapolis. She and other homeowners lost a lawsuit against the city’s airport, a major cargo hub, in 2007.
Ted Rueter, director of advocacy group Noise-Free America, believes the airports in medium-size communities are more concerned about money than ”protecting citizens and minimizing noise.”
The new Boeing falls into the largest class of airplane, known in the United States as Airplane Design Group VI. Most U.S. airports cannot legally handle these planes because of FAA space requirements aimed at keeping planes from bumping into each other or airport structures while taxiing.
But the FAA can issue a waiver, known as a modification of standards, if an airport agrees to certain new procedures, such as only using certain taxiways or routing other planes farther away when a 747-8 is moving around the airfield. At Rockford, Illinois, officials promised to inspect a taxiway for any broken pavement or other debris every time a 747-8 taxis past.
The FAA has approved 747-8 waivers for 14 airports, compared to three waivers for the A380.
”It’s a competitive issue for us,” said Butch Roberts, deputy director of the Huntsville, Alabama airport. ”We need to make it so our customers don’t have to take their planes to Atlanta, for example.”
Boeing says it is working with airports to win approval for 13 others. In some cases, the FAA may decide they’re already capable of handling Group VI aircraft.
”One of our selling points in this marketplace was that we wanted to make it where, if you could fly a ’47-400 on that route you could fly a ’47-8 on that route,” said Boeing spokesman Jim Proulx.
Another 30 airports are approved as alternate landing sites in case a 747-8 has to land due to an emergency or bad weather.
On Monday Boeing released footage of the 747-8 freighter being put through roller-coaster climbs and dips to test its strength. The passenger version of the plane had its maiden flight last month.
The company says it has 109 orders for the 747-8, 76 of them freighters.
Atlas Air, a Purchase, New York cargo company that flies to Toledo and other U.S. airports, has ordered 12 and expects to receive the first later this year. The cargo arm of Emirates Airlines, which also makes stops in Toledo, has ordered 15. Cargolux of Luxembourg, which flies to Huntsville, has ordered 13.
Ken Ryan, the director of cargo operations at the Rockford airport, has heard from foreign cargo airlines interested in finding a cheaper alternative to Chicago’s O’Hare. Companies can save about $20,000 per 747 because of Rockford’s lower landing fees, free aircraft parking, shorter taxi times and more direct
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