Why CHINA is No. 1

SPEECH OF THE YEAR

Maria is a devoted wife:

She gets married and has 7 children.......

Soon after the last child is born, her husband dies.... .

A few weeks later she remarries, and over the following years has another 5 children with her second husband......

After the last child is born her second husband also dies......

Within a month Maria is engaged to be married for the third time.......

Unfortunately, she becomes very ill and dies.

At her funeral the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, he looks up to heaven and says:


"At last they are finally together".


A man standing next to the priest asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband, or Maria and her second husband?"



The priest replied " I mean her legs !!! ".

Structural engineer in action

Whether you're a 'bird person' or not, this is stunning!!!

Not to detract from the sheer magic of it, but in practical terms,
how M A NY trips would a bird have to make with that tiny little
quantity of mud/clay it could carry? (and how far from the nest
is the source of material ?)

If you take the construction of a "circular bowl" in your stride as
instinctive – how the heck does the bird come up with the
windbreak/entrance design that shields the eggs/chicks from the
elements – and at what point in fashioning the bowl do they start

Human Art.... Look Carefully

O M G...!!!!

Sipping Vodka - A Chain Letter

A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body." He did not say,"Eat me."

12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Ohhhh My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!