Retirement Plan

I am not even close to retirement age, but it is never too early to start thinking about it (or maybe dreaming about it). Why do I say I may be dreaming about it? Easy – By the time I hit retirement age, my pension will probably be gone or my retirement fund stolen by some corporate bigwigs, and the cost of health care will be unaffordable to most people. I will either have to work until I die or take some drastic measures. I have been giving this some serious thought and I have come up with the following idea. I feel relieved now that I have my retirement planned out.

What is my Retirement Plan: Prison!!!I am being serious, Stop laughing please!! This is my future we are talking about!!!

My Retirement Home!

So Get out there and commit a felony! Prisons are already overbooked and your bunk won’t be held forever. Give your soul a quick shakedown and decide as soon as possible what criminal offense has your name on it!

My New Roomies!

Once again, think of it! A fully paid retirement in prison. I feel so much better and at ease. I no longer have to worry about what I will do when I get old. Lounging the jail, reading the latest books and magazines, working out and getting fed— all at the taxpayers’ expense!



So stop worrying and put your retirement plan into action! Your new buddies on cell block C are waiting to meet you!



What I May Look Like When I Turn 80

I know you think I am crazy. You probably think I have lost my mind and belong in the loony bin (Hey, that is another idea! I could go mental!)

Just hear me out my dear readers, you may end up with the same retirement plan as I have.



Think of the advantages you have by spending your retirement in prison.



1. You get to pass your days lounging around your room (let’s not call it a cell) and you even have a certain amount of time each day for fitness and enjoying the great outdoors. 2. Three square meals a day.

3. Access to nn extensive library.

4. Free gym membership.

5. Probably the best reason to choose prisonfor retirement is for their comprehensive health care coverage that money (but not yours) can buy.



When you look at it that way, it doesn’t sound too bad, does it?



It is easy to get into also. You can even be creative as to how you “qualify” for prison. Make sure you do something fun to get in. Then just kick back and enjoy your retirement.



Iowa State Penitentiary in Fort Madison. Hope They have some nice rooms for me when I retire.



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